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The moment you've been waiting for is finally here! It's time to ditch the notion of high school cliques and reinvent yourself. Just think: College is the perfect time to start fresh, accentuate your strong features and quirky characteristics, and turn your weaknesses into your best attributes. We checked in with some experts and college students who have 'been there, done that' to share the scoop on making yourself over for college.

Ditch the High School Stuff
Just take it from Beau Bone, freshman at The University of Mississippi (Oxford, MS). The first key, according to this frosh, is leaving your high school persona at home. "[The trick to] leaving the old self at home is bringing the new self with more maturity," he says. "For example, nobody likes an obnoxious attitude or an immature kid."

Among some of the things on Beau's no-no list is bringing along your varsity trophies or reminiscing incessantly about prom to your new college pals -- major turnoffs. The key for Beau's successful transition was starting with an open mind and checking out different activities. "Transitioning is about noticing the changes and adapting to them to suit yourself," he adds.

John Gardner, executive director of the North Carolina-based Policy Center on the First Year of College, agrees. "Entering the first year of college can be compared to being reborn," he says. "It is one of the few times in life when you have the opportunity to begin with a clean slate." So, how exactly do you start over?

To Thine Own Self Be True
According to Rose Rothmeier, Ph.D., director of Student Services and Counseling at Austin College (Sherman, TX), it's important to get out of your comfort zone.

"Since many students have indicated that they were not completely themselves in high school," she explains, "college is a time when they can become more comfortable with their real self and find others who can accept them as they are."

The trick to starting over, says Dr. Rothmeier, is less about changing weaknesses and more about building strengths. "Find out who you are in relation to your strengths, build on those assets, and place yourself in situations that will call upon your strengths," she advises.

For instance, if you're quick on your feet and enjoy interacting with people, maybe running for student government would suit you well.

Everybody's Doing It
For Kristy Beagle, senior at Xavier University (Cincinnati, OH), having a support system helped her establish a new college identity. Kristy explains, "At first, I was so scared people wouldn't like me that I was afraid to go out."

As a senior, Kristy is happy to report that her former shyness is undetectable. The key to her confidence was finding amazing friends who accepted her. "Your friends become your family and are an invaluable source for strength. They're transitioning too, so you can do it together."

In fact, Kristy recommends joining clubs and exploring various avenues that you wouldn't have considered in high school.

"Don't be afraid to try new things. You might like it. If you've always had long hair, cut it off. Try a new clothing style. College is the time to put away the high school labels 'jock,' 'nerd,' 'popular' and 'loser.'"

Agree to Disagree
Meredith Sonnen, a junior at Allegheny College (Meadville, PA), agrees. "College is a time for change and for re-evaluating yourself. You don't have to convert to someone else's point of view, but you should at least be aware of it."

While Meredith learned to understand other points of view, Katie Burgoon, junior from Austin College (Sherman, TX), became more open to differences among her peers. "In high school I thought, 'If you're not just like me, we might not agree and that would be bad.' In college, I've become more open to different types of people, more willing to try new things."

The key is adaptability. According to Sonja Montiel, president and founder of College Confidence, a college counseling company, new responsibilities and new adventures may foster apprehension and excitement.

"With these new experiences, students need to embrace flexibility, independence, and uncertainty," she says. "It's a balance between being an independent and confident individual and being willing to be humble in a new experience." Sonja recommends pursuing activities you enjoy, whether it's intramural sports or student clubs. This way, you'll meet other students who share the same interests. Above all, the incredible adventure that is college welcomes the brand new you.

Kristy Beagle advises, "You are no longer the person you were labeled in high school. Remember, you're not stuck in the past; move forward and embrace college. You made it this far and that's the first step. Go with the flow and do not sweat the small stuff!"

Five Steps to a New You
1. Take time to love and appreciate yourself. You cannot have good relationships with others unless you love who you are as a person.

2. This is your college experience and only you can determine the outcome. You must trust your own instincts, learn to listen to your intuition and know that you are fully capable of making good decisions.

3. Get a support system. Even if you're IM'ing your friends from home, connect with friends on campus who keep you inspired and motivated everyday.

4. Turn weaknesses into attributes by thinking about them in a positive way. For example, if you are shy, that may mean you listen and observe more skillfully than the average person. This quality can make you a good friend and a perceptive student.

5. Improve your skills. You're in college, which means you have multitudes of learning opportunities at your fingertips. Take advantage of them. Using the same shy example, you could join a public speaking club or take a speech class to learn new skills and help you gain confidence.

Source: Natasha Munson, author of Life Lessons for My Sisters: How to Make Wise Choices and Live a Life You Love (Hyperion, 2005)


http://www.vickisalemi.com
Vicki Salemi is a frequent contributor to The CollegeBound Network. Learn more about finding a school that's right for you.

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