My roommate is driving me crazy!" That's all Susan Fee, mental health counselor, heard out of students' mouths when she worked at Baldwin-Wallace College (Berea, OH). After enduring the venting enough times, she realized these coeds were lacking the necessary life skill of conflict resolution. The result is "My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy! Solve Conflicts, Set Boundaries, and Survive the College Roommate From Hell" (Adams Media Corporation, 2005), which she wrote to give students a practical guide for dealing with troublesome roommates.

"I lived in dorms and apartments, I shared a house, and I even had a bedroom in the basement of a bed and breakfast," explains Fee. "But my book is not a vendetta against a former roommate. Fortunately, I haven't had any really bad experiences."

For those of you who do encounter difficult roommate situations, Fee's got some solutions. Just follow the steps to produce roommate harmony.

Scenario One
Problem: I think my roommate is stealing from me. How should I approach her? If she is, what should I do?

Solution: Don't make rash accusations -- remember, this person is still going to be your roommate after you confront her. Approach her with an attitude of joint problem solving -- state only the facts, such as "I need your help. I'm missing some CDs. Do you know what might have happened to them?"

Result: Bringing up the topic should put an end to the sticky finger situation. If the stealing continues, gather evidence (who was in your room, when, what's missing, etc.) and report the details to your resident advisor. Let your roommate know you're reporting the problem, you intend to find out what's going on, and others are going to help you keep an eye out.

Scenario Two
Problem: My roommate is super-messy, and his clutter is infiltrating my side of the room! I don't want to offend him, but how should I tell him I'm irked by the lack of neatness?

Solution: The first rule is, what you allow, you teach. Don't be worried about "offending" your roommate when you confront him. If you never tell him the mess bothers you, the problem will persist. Focus the discussion on joint expectations for respecting each other's space. In other words, don't confront the person, confront the problem. Say something like, "I'd like to talk to you about how we want to keep the room.

Result: The discussion should alert your messy roomie to the fact that you're the neat type. He will most likely respect your request. However, if the clutter creeps to your side of the room again, you may have to divide your room in half with masking tape like they do on sitcoms.

Scenario Three
Problem: My roommate is totally invading my personal space. She listens in on my phone calls, looks through my stuff, and is just all-around nosy.

Solution: It's absolutely imperative that you speak up and set some boundaries. You need to say something like, "I consider this personal, and I would appreciate it if you'd quit getting involved. There are things I like talking to you about, but this is not one of them."

Result: Hopefully, her prying prowess stops there. If it doesn't, you'll need to report the problem to your resident advisor. Every student has a right to privacy. If it's being violated and your initial confrontation doesn't fix matters, you'll need a third party to mediate.

Scenario Four
Problem: What should I do about my antisocial roommate? He's cramping my style!

Solution: Let him be. Don't expect your new live-in buddy to be your best friend for life. He's not there to entertain you; that's just not reasonable. It's not up to you to try to change other people to suit your style.

Result: Sometimes roommates are just roommates. If you aren't on the same social level with him, go out and make friends with those more in sync with your school style.

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