Have you ever looked back at a time in your life and thought, "I can't believe I was that foolish!" When memories of my first semester of college emerge in my mind, I feel ashamed. There were so many things I should have done differently -- ideas I had that were simply wrong.

My proudest accomplishment has not been making the dean's list each semester or becoming an active leader since completing my sophomore year at the University of Southern Indiana. Instead, I'm proud to say I have shed the prejudices that I ignorantly believed without question before I entered college.

While anticipating college, I had a fantasy that things were going to be perfect. My roommates were going to be great, and I was going to fit in instantly. But in September, I got the wake-up call of my life. Rolling over and squinting at the sun coming through the blinds, I saw two of my female roommates in bed together. I remember pulling the covers over my head and hoping it was a dream, but as I continued to listen, I knew it was not.

I completely freaked out. The small Indiana farm town where I grew up is known for its abundant churches and conservative values. By the time I graduated high school, I was certain homosexuals were condemned to hell, and there was only one "right" way to live. Therefore, it was no surprise that the thought of two lesbians living in the same room as me was unacceptable; they had to go.

At the same time, they were determined to get me and my conservative values to move out. They did all kinds of horrible things to me -- anything to poke fun at my views. They thought it was hilarious that I was a virgin, and teased me about that. Once, when I was lying on the floor having a severe asthma attack, one of the girls said, "I'm not getting her inhaler -- I could care less."

And, I definitely contributed to the battle. I gossiped and spread rumors about them constantly. After witnessing them do a tarot card reading later that semester, I became even more convinced they would end up in hell.

Finally, in a feeble attempt to avoid facing even greater conflict, I moved to a different room. At that time, I thought my roommates were the problem, but in truth it was me. I foolishly believed I was better than they were because of my sexual preference. Instead of dealing with the conflict maturely, and setting some rules for our living environment, I avoided the problem by sharing my feelings with everyone but my roommates.

Here's my story of the lessons I learned...

Opening My Mind
As my college career progressed and I spent more time away from my hometown, I realized I didn't agree with many of the ideas that were spoon-fed to me during my adolescence.

Homosexuals are normal people; there is no reason to fear them. John Runions, one of my co-workers who happens to be homosexual, put it this way: "Heterosexuals don't look at people of the opposite sex and immediately think of sexual desires. It's the same way with homosexuals." He also stressed that whether gay, lesbian, or straight, we all need to be treated equally. "Homosexuals are just like heterosexuals; they have goals in life."

My homophobia caused me to miss out on the opportunity for amazing friendships as a freshman. Now, my friendships are unprejudiced. I am no longer bothered by people's preferences, and these new relationships have added much value to my life. It is unfortunate that it took me so long to get to this point.

It's All About Respect
Rejecting one specific group because of fear and intolerance caused me to become like those hypocrites I had always criticized. We learn to love our neighbors, not judge them. We also learn to avoid gossip. I failed on both accounts.

I have always despised radical groups who kill others in the name of religion, and individuals who have no tolerance for actions they consider a sin. Doesn't everyone sin? These actions never made sense to me, and sadly, I was becoming what I despised. I told everyone about my roommates' sexuality before they were ready to come out. They were not yet prepared to be open about their identity; for me to share that with their peers was simply cruel.

Live and Learn
If I could go back, I would change the way I treated my roommates and be more accepting. College has taught me everyone deserves respect. I see now that freshmen need to be willing to form their own opinions and ideas about the world, and learn to confront problems with maturity and respect. I am grateful for the lessons I have learned and the opportunities for growth and maturity.

Now, I'm a resident assistant, and the biggest piece of advice I give those starting a new living arrangement is to discuss issues and communicate with their roommates instead of finding themselves embroiled in (or avoiding) confrontation. My college experiences have made me a better person and I am proud to have overcome prejudiced beliefs. Hopefully, potential freshmen can learn from my mistakes and not repeat the cycle.

Sound Off! Post Your Comments