| About Us | Home
College & University Search
Request Info Now!
Most Popular
National Colleges
Regionally accredited colleges
Request Free Information
on National Colleges, College Admissions, and College Life

Leaving Your Love Behind: How to Earn an 'A' in Long-Distance Romance

by Annika Reichardt
As a freshman, can you handle a long-distance relationship in addition to parties, study sessions, and roommate troubles? Or, is breaking up with your high school sweetheart the only solution before you wave good-bye?

There's no better wisdom than what foreign exchange students Thierry Delesalle, Ganeshan Srinivasan, Corina Siodla, and myself, from Angelo State University (ASU), TX, gained while thousands of miles away from our loved ones.

Three days before I left to begin my exchange year at ASU, I remember my brother asking me, "So, when are you going to end this thing with Axel?"

His remark caught me off guard. "What do you mean? End what?" I asked.

"Anni," he answered, "don't tell me you're näive enough to stay together, even with a 12-hour flight between the two of you."

Gulp! I knew exactly what he was talking about -- a long-distance relationship as long as the distance between Texas and Germany was hard to imagine. Of course, in thinking of my new life abroad, I had touched upon the topic. And, if I believed what my friends had told me, staying connected to a sweetie was the very worst thing that could happen to a college student.

While the entire campus is going out to party, you're staying in your lonely dorm room waiting for a phone call. You look pale and tired from hours chatting in the neon-lit computer lab. Then, after numerous semesters of jealousy and loneliness, your boyfriend finally breaks up with you for the party chick he met at his own college on another continent.

A long-distance love can come with frustration and doubts. The good news? There are ways to make a relationship like this work.

Know the rules.
Be aware of each other's expectations, and take time to discuss problematic issues beforehand. Ganeshan, 20, from India, went to ASU two years ago, with this problem.

"My girlfriend and I had to learn the hard way how misunderstandings may arise over the phone," he says. For example, what happens when the dial-up discussion turns to: "Is it okay to date other people?" Your partner might think doing so is his/her personal freedom, while for you, this is an absolute no-no.

"Talk openly about worries and fears," Ganeshan advises. "Don't just assume, you have to actually ask for your partner's opinion."

Establish a routine, then make exceptions.
Thierry, 22, from France, misses the fun times he spent with his girlfriend Judith, who attends school in Germany. "I try to be there for her, no matter how far apart we are," Thierry says.

It's good to get a call each night before you go to bed, or meet regularly in an online chat, he explains. "Judith sometimes plays her favorite songs for me over the phone," Thierry says, "and I'll read good-night stories back."

Surprising your partner, especially when you cannot be together as often as you like, is important.

Share your lives.
Keep your other half on track with the latest developments in your life. Inform him about your roomie's mood swings, your crazy professor, and the great tortillas you had for lunch. "Only then will you be able to understand your partner's ups and downs," Ganeshan says.

If you'd rather only share your life with your new buddies, there may be a serious problem. Corina, 21, from Germany, broke up with her boyfriend when she realized leaving her hometown had changed her a lot. "There were new people, new opportunities," she says. "I felt I had to move on."

Dream and plan.
Whether the next time you meet is in one week or six months, daydream about it as much as possible. Reserve a table in your favorite restaurant or order tickets for the rock band you both love. Investing time and thought will reassure you both of the importance and value of your relationship.

"When the two of us envision our reunion, time ahead appears half as long," Thierry says.

Don't dwell on the past.
Wishing for the times when your honey lived two blocks away is dangerous. "I would count the days until the next vacation," Ganeshan remembers.

A long-distance romance teaches you a good lesson in independence. Enjoy yourself and don't feel guilty about the fun you have. And remember -- don't envy your partner's new friends.

Look at it in a positive light.
People in long-distance relationships don't take each other for granted. Monotony and boredom are foreign words.

"Some people just don't realize what a blessing it is to have somebody," Thierry says. Absence from Judith helped him appreciate the little things, like her voice or a hand-written letter. Remember what they say about the heart growing fonder.

Be sincere.
Unlike some couples, you won't need forever to figure out you aren't meant to be. Possibly, you will notice you'd rather hang out with your friends than write extensive e-mails. Maybe you'll catch yourself flirting or realizing you don't actually miss your partner any more. Take Corina, for example.

"I forgot to call my guy back a couple of times," she explains. "I guess we weren't meant to be, and with distance between us, I could see that clearer."

It's no one's fault if one of you falls out of love. Sometimes you have to forge ahead on your new path and roll with the college changes. You'll thank yourself on diploma day.






Sound Off! Post Your Comments


You are not currently logged on. Please login to add a comment.

Home | About Us | Privacy | Contact Us | Help Center/Customer Service | Advertise Your School | Affiliate Network | Student Services
Compare Schools | Articles | CollegeSurfing Insider | Post & Share | Link To Us
TALK TO AN ADVISOR (9 AM-9 PM EST) 866-442-6062
TALK TO AN ADVISOR (9 AM-9 PM EST) 866-925-2803
© 1996 - • The CollegeBound Network • 20 years of helping students succeed through education
DON'T LEAVE YET