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Sophomore Megan Farrell is leaving for her 8 a.m. class when she stops to send a quick message to her mom. "It snowed!" she tells her mother, 1,200 miles away in Northern California.

From her dorm room at the University of Colorado at Boulder, Megan also tells her mother not to worry, she's wearing a jacket. Then she says goodbye, and leaves for class.

Megan is communicating quickly and easily with her mom through text messaging, a tool she and both of her parents claim has made her transition to college life much easier.

"It has been the best way for my parents to know what I'm up to without feeling like they're constantly in my business," says Megan. "I can IM them if I have a quick question or just want to see what they're up to, and if they IM me, they understand that I won't always be there to answer."

A Growing Trend
In fact, Megan and her parents are among the growing group of text-messaging program users. Once a product used mainly by teens and preteens for after-school chatting, parents and older-generation family members are now finding that logging on is a great way to keep in touch. America Online's Instant Messenger, ICQ, IBM's Lotus, Yahoo Messenger, and MSN Messenger are some of the most common programs that can be downloaded for free to PCs.

Abby Rothberg, a senior at Syracuse University (Syracuse, NY), uses Instant Messenger to stay in touch with her family in Denver, CO. "I can just exchange a few words with them at a time," she says. "I don't want to spend hours on the phone with my family every day, but it's nice to be able to have small side discussions. It's comforting to know what my mom is cooking for dinner, or what my brother is watching on television."

The quick, casual conversations Abby and Megan share with their parents are typical, says Brenda Allen, professor at the University of Colorado at Denver, and an expert on computer-mediated communication. She says that choosing a communication mode often depends on the purpose of the interaction.

"For just saying 'hi,' text messaging may be fine," says Allen. "But if you want to deliver big news, another form might be more appropriate. It really depends on whether the message is simple or complex."

Megan agrees. "The first time I got sick at school, I definitely called home a lot," she says. "I used the computer too, but it was just nice to hear my parents' voices."

Warming Up to Cold Technology
Megan, who used text messaging services throughout high school, says her parents didn't start logging on themselves until she went away to school. "It took them a while to get the hang of it," she admits. "I think they were getting text messaging mixed up with e-mailing. But now that they've caught on, they use it all the time."

Actually, such confusion is not uncommon. Some students say that despite their best efforts, their parents just don't get it.

"I think my mom feels intimidated by it," says Sarah Platt, a recent graduate of the University of Colorado at Boulder. "I started trying to get her to use it freshman year, but even though she could be online all the time if she wanted to, she just wouldn't do it."

Mary Farrell, Megan's mom, understands where parents like Sarah's are coming from. "My generation is so used to the concept of letter writing as a formal thing," she says. "It's hard to get used to the idea of text messaging being as quick and casual as a short person-to-person conversation."

Allen says that some people enjoy communicating in different ways, and therefore the willingness to experiment with the technology varies.

"There are a variety of factors related to how we choose to communicate with other people," she says. "You may have a computer, which is physical access, but there is also the issue of psychological access, which looks at willingness, interest, and skill level."

Too Close for Comfort?
Megan, whose parents have embraced text messaging as a means of communication, says that while it's nice to have her parents just keystrokes away, there can also be drawbacks.

"A big reason for going to school out of state is independence, and talking to my parents throughout the day can cut into that independence if I'm not careful," she says. "Since I also talk to my friends online, sometimes I'm online for them, not for my mom and dad."

Abby echoes those feelings. "I put up a lot of away messages, and sometimes they're meant for my friends, not my parents," she says. "My mom jokes around that she could spy on me if she wanted to, and the scary thing is, she could."

Abby says she often puts up away messages letting her friends know where a party is, or whom she's going out with that night. The away messages allow other people who are signed on to read what Abby has posted, even when she's not at her computer.

"I know that all my mom has to do to know what's going on in my social life is read my away messages," Abby says. "But an unspoken trust has built up between us, and my mom is good about not peeking to see what I'm doing all the time."

Even with the potential for "spying," Abby says that being online with her parents is still worth it. "I talk to them more than I ever would just on the phone, but I still feel like I'm on my own," she says.

Megan and her parents agree that the mix of independence and closeness is just what they need. "I'm glad my mom and dad are online for me to talk to throughout the day," she says as she walks to class. "If I'm homesick, it makes me feel closer to them, but if I want to be on my own, I can do that too."

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