The secrets of the hallowed institutions of higher education. I, for one, wish somebody had shared them with me when I was a freshman. If someone had sat me down and told me the lesser-known facts, the truths would have saved me from hours of heartache. Now it's your turn to sit down and get ready to learn...

Bag Basics
I would have wanted someone (anyone!) to tell me, for example, that a solid school bag is the smartest investment you can make prior to your first day of classes. By your senior year, you will undoubtedly be able to move up to something trendier, but when you're starting out, for heaven's sake, buy something sensible. I bought what I thought was a sensible bag until I got it to school, crammed it with books, and realized that when it was full, it resembled luggage. Luggage, might I add, that would have been too large to pass as a carry-on.

When you're perusing the non-luggage bag department, there's something else to keep in mind. Don't buy a bag that squeaks. I did that too. My friends knew exactly where I was on campus every moment of every day. And don't buy one just because the label attached is well-known. I ruined a brand new jacket when the black leather shoulder strap of my designer bag left a large, permanent momento on my right shoulder. A friend shelled out nearly $200 for a trendy tote but soon found its zipper grated against her outfits and frayed anything it came in contact with. Trust me when I tell you that the correct bag isn't necessarily the coolest bag.

Textbook Tips
Once you arrive on campus and finalize your course selections, don't rush to the on-campus bookstore to buy your texts. You should initially check the closest used bookstore (or surf those oh-so-popular online book buying sites), which will generally specialize in exactly the titles for which you'll be searching. This is especially true for literature courses that require small libraries of gothic or romantic novels to be at your fingertips.

The big-wigs on campus usually make your professor recommend a specific edition to streamline the whole process but, believe you me -- no author from the 19th century is going to be spending his or her summer doing rewrites just before you arrive at college. The words were written down in the year 18-whatever and they won't be changing now. Unless it's absolutely unacceptable, pick up an edition that suits your pocket book.

Cherish Your ID Card
My fourth tip involves that all-important and powerful resource tool known as your student card. Once you are issued your own piece of identification (which at my college doubled as a library card), don't lend it to anyone, even if that person is your best friend at the time.

I allowed a friend to make use of my card, since she didn't particularly feel like owning up to $200 in fines just then. I should probably add here that it was really great being friends with her. We lost touch after the fallout from her no-holds-barred excursion to the largest library on campus. She rang up a $160 tab of fines in my name and I was still left holding the bill before grad ceremonies were to commence.

Sound Collegiate, Not Comical
After a few months of classes, you should expect people, especially those studying English, to suddenly experience an expansion in their vocabulary. On one hand, this is great. You may learn a few things. I did. Litigious is now a common component in my conversations. On the other hand, some folks tend to get a wee bit carried away. At an awards banquet in my third year, I noticed that the hostess was making use of the word "nextly" each and every time she wanted to move things along. Needless to say, she was majoring in English. Also, needless to say, nextly is not a word.

Heed the Writing on the Wall
Another thing you'll learn with time is that the inside jokes and behind-the-scenes dramas in any given dorm are, at times, just as interesting as your classes, or perhaps even more so. Pay particular attention to your doorboard -- the chalk or cork square that adorns, obviously, your door. The messages you find could be a lot more important than you might think. A good friend (the same one whose bag shredded her clothes), once dated a guy from one of her classes and noticed the word "cheater" scrawled viciously across his doorboard one day as she was passing by. Sometime later, she discovered the guy had a girlfriend of four years, which he had neglected to mention.

Balance Your Breaks and Books
Nextly (just kidding!), enjoy your breaks. Make use of them and eat, join a team, or rush a fraternity. I "did lunch" and worked-out and took in the sun and generally reveled in my spare time. In fact, I enjoyed my breaks so much that classes often slipped my mind. Which brings me to another point: Don't let classes slip your mind. You'll miss a lot and, contrary to the beliefs of some misguided souls, you are indeed there to learn. And you will learn a lot. It will even surprise you from time to time.

Avoid Red Tape and Sticky Situations
As my final tip, I'd like to say, it's a good thing you'll be learning so much because no one who works for the college will have any idea what in the world is going on. They will never be sure what office you should be headed to or how much a change of faculty application costs or even who, exactly, is in charge of what services. They all seem to just show up and dive into whatever mess they can get themselves into. Occasionally, those same messes, though, will yield some interesting information. So try to keep plugged in to the goings-on at the registrar's office.

Also, learn how to spell registrar -- you'll need to know it. This office is the one responsible for just about everything -- or just about nothing, depending which way you look at it. I say the glass is half full, so go there for important forms and information. Sign up for the pre-term campus orientation. Even if you don't find it useful, at least it'll allow you to scope out the cool tables or grassy knolls to claim for your breaks. Ask an older friend with more college experience for advice too, maybe someone at work or a relative. Hopefully, they'll be able to clear up any confusion.

No matter whom you choose to ask, there is one thing just about everyone will tell you: your college years are a portion of your life you'll enjoy and never forget. Stay prepared, organized, and keep your sense of humor. These three elements are the ones I relied upon -- and quite successfully, might I add! Be studious. Be outgoing. And, most of all, be warned.

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