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Julie Walker glanced at her watch again while her friend, Brad, weaved through the crowd of swaying partygoers to get a cup of beer. "Everybody there was being really loud and stupid, and they were drinking. I hated every second of it," Julie recalls of her first and only fraternity party.

Back in her dorm room, Julie found her roommate Emily still on the phone in tears. Like Emily, Julie spent the rest of her first night at Indiana University (IU) crying. "I felt homesick immediately," says Julie, who came from a town of 3,000 people to a campus of more than 30,000 students. "I still remember the empty feeling inside watching my parents, sister, and boyfriend drive away."

Pamela Najarian, director of the study center and academic support services at Merrimack College, North Andover, MA, says  

homesickness

  has touched the majority of college students. She estimates at least 50 to 75 percent of students suffer from homesickness, and 5 to 10 percent are so severely affected they seriously consider returning home.

When it's your turn, don't let homesickness get the best of you. Beat the homesick blues in five steps:

1. Get involved.
Looking for new friends and someone she could possibly hitch a ride home with on break, Ohio University graduate Sarah Bates went to a meeting of the Newman group, a Catholic student organization, during the first week of school. Sarah discovered she shared not only her faith but also her interest in photography with some members of the group. Because she met most of her friends through Newman and the photo department, Sarah advises new students to "get involved and try to meet as many people as possible. The busier you are, the less time you have to think about how homesick you are."

Margaret Hazlett, associate dean of student affairs and dean of first-year students at Bowdoin College, Brunswick, ME, agrees campus activities are important for new students. "By feeling that you are contributing to your college community and are connected, you can feel less isolated and disconnected," she explains.

Julie says campus activities were the key to discovering her niche and overcoming homesickness. "I found things that interested me and I jumped in with both feet. You have to take that risk."

2. "Hi, my name is..."
Battle homesickness by introducing yourself to the people on your floor, your classmates, or any other new faces you see. That's easy to do if you're outgoing, but even introverted people should make the effort, says Najarian, who admits her shyness was a problem. Still, she forced herself to meet new people by volunteering at the campus radio station. "You have to make the decision to just do it. Your choices are to be by yourself ... or to enjoy yourself at college," says Najarian.

As a matter of fact, Butler University, Indianapolis, IN, sophomore Katie Hallberg agrees taking social risks is necessary to overcoming homesickness and feeling like you belong. "Challenge yourself whenever possible -- meet the girl down the hall who you bump into every day," says Katie, "or go to a free movie in the union. I would be lost at school without the friends I have, and I never would have met them had I been in my room depressed about missing home."

In the meantime, Julie found ways to get others to introduce themselves to her. "Leave your door open and peek in other open doors to meet new people," she says. Frequently, students on her floor stopped in to compliment the quote of the day on her dry-erase board or the latest picture her 11-year-old sister Jackie had drawn for her.

3. Give it time.
While you will encounter countless new people at school, Hazlett advises being patient if you don't find a new best friend overnight.

"Many students forget it took them four years or more to develop the strong friendships they had in high school. They assume they'll come to college and immediately develop close ties. Unfortunately, it doesn't always work that way, so students feel disappointed and disconnected. It takes time, and you will feel different by the second semester," she says.

4. Talk about your feelings.
Experts emphasize the two critical steps in overcoming homesickness -- recognizing that what you are feeling is normal, and discussing the problem with someone you trust. "Homesickness is a common and natural reaction to a new environment," explains Najarian. "If you can accept those feelings and talk with someone, you will be more likely to work through them."

Sarah Nagy, assistant director of student involvement and orientation at IU, encourages communication as a way to push past loneliness. "Talk with staff members and resident advisors; they know what to expect."

However, if you feel uncomfortable discussing your problems, one alternative is to keep a journal like Julie did during her freshman year. She vented her frustrations with her incompatible roommate and her boyfriend in her journal, and found the process therapeutic.

5. Keep in touch (but don't call mom too much).
While it is important to make the transition to college, it doesn't mean you should forget about your friends and family back home altogether. Julie says she never felt too out of touch because of electronic communication. "It wasn't so bad because I knew I could just e-mail them about my day and they could e-mail me about theirs."

However, Hazlett warns not to rely completely upon past relationships. "I encourage students to be present and actively work to develop friendships here, rather than holding on and depending on friendships and relationships from home."

While remaining in touch with parents is essential, Hazlett also emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries with mom and dad in order to adjust to your new environment. "Increasingly parents are the ones initiating contact with their child on a daily basis. I encourage students to set communication ground rules with their parents (limit contact to a few times a week) so they become more present at college than dependent on home."

Hazlett encourages limiting contact with your parents, however, she thinks frequent phone calls are a good solution to homesickness if you receive reassurance. "I don't think it matters the number of times you call home as long as you are getting the message from home to be involved and get connected with friends at college, and this is a normal feeling and you will be OK."

You Are Not Alone
The most important thing to remember is homesickness is a common problem. "My guess would be that every student goes through a period of wondering if they made the right choice ... and they miss home," says Nagy.

If you feel homesick, chances are your roommate or the girl who sits next to you in biology class is experiencing the same problem. Share your feelings with these people and take some action to deal with your homesickness. As Julie says, "the worst thing you can do is sit in your room alone, sulking over yourself."

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