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There's always that one cool mom. You know, the one with the stunning appearance who has the glamorous job, and who really cares about what you have to say. Now imagine she's married to superstar ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER, making her not only courageous, but also the First Lady of California. Oh, and she's also had a highly successful career as a broadcast journalist, is a Kennedy, and has written a book of advice for girls going to college? You'd be super--anxious to hang out at that house, wouldn't you?

Though I didn't get the luxury to visit  

Maria Shriver

 , I did have the privilege to talk with the mother of four about why she's so into her newest endeavor, authoring And One More Thing Before You Go... (Free Press, 2005). The book (on sale April 12) was inspired by a high school graduation luncheon Shriver was invited to speak at last spring. Her advice focused on life lessons to teen girls, specifically those about to embark on college.

You have to agree with the former "Dateline" correspondent that there's no better time than graduation to stop a minute and realize how lucky you are. "You just got into college and a lot of people have supported you," Shriver points out. "This is a critical crossroads for your grandparents, parents - whomever helped you get there," she says. (Didn't think of it that way, did ya'?!)

Often in times of transition, worries escalate because of the mind tricks we play on ourselves, Shriver explains. "It's all about what we need, as opposed to what we already have," she says. It's always about the 'next thing' - getting a [certain] grade, moving up, getting more..." Saying thank you speaks volumes, she advises, and actually helps you recognize your accomplishments. "Thank your parents, thank your teachers, and applaud yourself that you've been able to build a group of friends."

What's shared in And One More Thing... is advice Shriver wishes she had when she was your age. "When I was in high school, I didn't think to stop and thank my parents," she says. "My wish is that I had focused a little more on what [my graduation] meant to them."

In a way, the book is a great big "thank you" to her mother, Eunice Kennedy. Shriver actually came up with the book's title because to this day, her mom always throws in that phrase at the end of their conversations.

And no matter how old you get, adds Shriver, what you really need to do is overcome your fear of fear. "Someone once told me not to be afraid of being afraid. She said, 'Anxiety is a glimpse of your own daring,'" Shriver writes. "It means part of your agitation is just excitement about what you're getting ready to accomplish."

A big secret Shriver reveals that may astonish you is that fear always remains, even for a celebrity like her. "That [scared] feeling never goes away... you just get a handle on it," she says.

"We make a great mistake thinking we're supposed to be happy all the time, that a good life is an easy life," she writes. "Many people whose lives are easy are also empty. If everything comes to them with no effort or struggle on their part, they're never tested." In fact, attests Shriver, struggle contains valuable lessons. "Those without it never get to learn what they're made of."

Just because no one talks about fear doesn't mean that if you experience it, you're weak, she explains. "The more well--known people share that it's OK to be scared - it's OK to get fired, it's OK to not get into your first--choice school - the better," she says.

On that note, be sure to control the pressure you're under, too, she urges. That's why she leaves her 15--year--old daughter Katherine alone about her college decision. "I learned from my niece," she says. "She wishes she hadn't spent her whole time in high school talking about college." Though Shriver loves her alma mater ("Georgetown was fantastic"), she's just as proud that Katherine understands her own sense of being. "She tells me, 'Mom, I'm not you,'" shares Shriver. "God bless her for recognizing that!"



Jackie A. Bondanza is a former writer for The CollegeBound Network. Learn more about finding a school that's right for you.

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