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Jennifer Hernandez, a high school senior at North Broward Preparatory in Coconut Creek, FL, is in the midst of Applying to College. Although she has only just completed her College applications to Duke and MIT -- and is currently working on ones for Penn State, Yale, and Princeton -- Jennifer understands how the dreams of soon-to-be graduates can quickly turn sour.

"Here's the scenario: A strong student goes to, say MIT, and falls in love with it but he or she is not accepted," says Jennifer. "This is a big psychological blow. And with the devastating news, you must still maintain a level head in school."

Unfortunately, the situation Jennifer describes happens to many dedicated and promising students. "It's a big disappointment when you aren't accepted to your first-choice school, especially one you were completely set on," she adds.

So what if it happens to you?

Great Expectations
"The brass ring should change," says Lisa Jacobson, CEO and founder of Inspirica, a tutoring, test prep, and admissions consulting firm in Boston and New York. "We want students to set the right goals. Sometimes they have to change their expectations."

Jessica Samuels disagrees. This North Broward Prep schoolmate of Jennifer's, who is applying to New York University and Columbia University among others, says she's a firm believer in reaching for the moon. "It's in my best interest to apply my efforts toward schools that best suit my needs."

Consider the effort that goes into applying to an elite school and you'll understand Jessica's determination. "Since my freshman year, I've kept an activity sheet documenting my extracurricular activities," explains the high achiever.

Most students don't realize how early the process begins, she asserts. "Although I may not have realized it at the time, the college process began prior to high school for me. Had I not taken honors courses in middle school, I would not have been able to take advanced courses later."

The Price of Admission
"If you're applying from one of the top 200 high schools," says Jacobson, "it's gotten extremely difficult because colleges don't want a homogenized incoming class."

Just 20 years ago, a combined SAT score of 1200 was the median for entry into an Ivy League. The price of admission today is 1400 or higher (old SAT). "Don't get your heart set on these schools [if you have] a significantly lower [SAT score]," Jacobson warns.

If, however, you have a B+ GPA and a 1300 on your SAT, adds Terese Corey Blanck, principal of College to Career, Inc. -- a Maple Grove, Minnesota-firm providing career coaching services to students -- you may still have a shot, especially if you have some distinguishing qualities.

A Cut Above
"The key is [exhibiting] extraordinary attributes that make the applicant unique," says Blanck.

Setting yourself apart might include anything from proficiency in a foreign language to founding a national charity. Colleges and universities are looking for diversity, high class rank, and high standardized test scores; participation is not enough.

Karen Ann Curreri, MS, West Coast director of IvyWise, an educational counseling service in Beverly Hills, CA, says the key is marketing. "Kids knock themselves out of competitive applicant pools because they don't put down everything meaningful," she maintains. "They get depressed, thinking 'I didn't do anything in high school because I had to work.' But guess what? If you write a powerful essay about working 40 hours a week, a college is going to look upon that in a favorable light."

"Many competitive applicants do it all," says Jennifer. "They have outstanding grades and high SAT scores, participate in many school clubs, compete in academic competitions, play a sport, do community service hours, and sometimes even perform in school bands!"

While extracurricular activities are important, she says, choose those that are meaningful to you. That's why she's in the math league, Mu Alpha Theta.

Why Bother With the Elite?
But even if you fit the bill, should you apply? "My son told me he didn't want to kill himself [to get into] an Ivy League," says Thea Volpe, owner of University Place Educational Consultants, an academic advising company in Jersey City, NJ.

Her son, Alex, attended the Dalton School in New York City, one of the top high schools in the country. With stellar grades, athletics, and volunteer work to his credit, he felt his high school experience was all work and no play. "I told him high school was going to be great," says Volpe. "His reaction was that it stunk." All she ever heard Alex and his friends talking about were grades, assignments, and how much work they had to do, she explains.

When it came time to apply to college, Volpe's son had definite opinions about what he did not want. He went to the lesser known but still competitive Colby College in Maine, "and loved it," she says.

Thus the fundamental question, according to Blanck: "What school is best suited to permit you to achieve the goals and aspirations you have for yourself?"

After all, adds Jacobsen, "No study has ever shown that success in life is directly proportional to what college you attend." That's why it's not necessary to pick an elite school as your first choice, says Jennifer.

Moving to Plan B
Changing your expectations may not be the best idea, either. "Even if you make your second choice your first choice, in the back of your mind, you still know it's just your second choice," says Hernandez.

So what's the best approach? "Set an appropriate goal," Jacobson recommends.

Attending a Plan-B school should never be viewed as a consolation prize, adds Blanck. "Focus on attending the school that is most compatible with your passions, skills, and career aspirations. When you do that, your so-called 'Plan-B' school will be as viable an option as your first-choice school."

"If you consider realistic schools," says Hernandez, "you're less likely to be disappointed."

Learning, or Building Your Resume?
Samuels offers advice to those who want to compete with the elite: Work hard, participate in extracurricular activities you enjoy, and take a challenging curriculum in a subject you're passionate about. "It's the students who really love to learn, and not the ones who love to build resumes, that will end up at select universities."

"Many times people realize the schools they got into are just as good as the one they didn't get into, and even, perhaps, a better match for them," says Hernandez. Jacobson agrees. "I went to Stanford, but I believe I would have been successful had I never gone there."

Hernandez doesn't see herself as immune to rejection. "While many of these schools are very hard to get into, I'm not totally set on one, and I know I would be happy and successful going to any of them."

Lastly, Jacobson warns, "don't lose your childhood over this."

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