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Considering most things about college scared me, rooming with a total stranger was definitely the biggest of my worries. As an international student, I wouldn't have the luxury of bunking with a high school buddy who happened to go to the same college. I constantly worried about having to share a small room with a stranger--plus, I would be in a strange land.

My biggest fear was that this unknown college  

roommate

  would be completely different than me. During the summer months before leaving for college, various scenarios and questions ran through my head: What if she doesn't like me? What if I don't like her? What if we don't get along? What if we're totally different?

In the end, I had five roommates in four years. It has been an adventure and a challenge, but take it from me--there are ways to make dorm living less draining.

1. Don't expect the worst from your new roommate. (If you do, it'll be a self-fulfilling prophecy.)
Sure enough, Becky, my first roommate, was the total opposite of me. I'm an outgoing, talkative, restless, and ready-to-have-fun type of girl. Becky was serious and quiet. If she ever laughed, it must have been when I wasn't around. Becky and I never disliked each other, but we definitely weren't the best of friends, despite the cliche about opposites attracting.

The one thing we did have in common actually complicated our situation. Being basketball teammates meant we would be spending a lot of time together. I'm talking days on end! This could have been a wonderful opportunity for us to bond, but Becky didn't have many friends, and she spent lots of time in our room, so every time I got back from a disappointing game or a bad test, she was always there.

Rooming with Becky took enormous energy and effort, and I truly believed we weren't meant to be roommates. We were much too different. Surely, I thought, there was a more outgoing person out there looking for a roommate like me. I expected this roommate situation wouldn't work at all, and it really didn't--until I changed my mindset.

When I woke up crying one night, trying to drown homesickness with tears, Becky lay awake in her bed, and we ended up talking all night. We discovered that both of us struggled with homesickness and had similar fears about college. This experience helped us respect each other more and continue to open up to one another. The year eventually came to an end, and even though we had our rough times rooming together, Becky and I parted as friends.

2. Then again, don't expect to be best friends with your new roommate either. (But, be grateful if it happens.)
I roomed with Katie during my sophomore year, and she was everything I had dreamed of. She was the perfect roommate and teammate. Our personalities were a magical match, and we hung out all the time. We went to social events together, shared shopping sprees, and chatted for nights on end. We spoke about everything and helped one another through rough times, from boyfriend troubles and homesickness to injuries and even a battle with anorexia. Everything was great--until Katie needed knee surgery and had to move to the first floor, leaving me without a roommate.

3. Always keep up the communication. (It's key.)
My junior year of college, I had two roommates, with whom I shared a one-bedroom apartment. Needless to say, we got tired of being around each other from time to time. Since wisdom comes with age, I learned to avoid them and go for a walk instead. Probably not the best strategy, I'll admit.

Then, during my senior year of college, my new roommate Tosha was of a different race than me. Again, we were complete opposites, and played mind games to test each other's patience.

I challenged myself to learn as much as possible about my roommate, and in the process I learned something about myself, too. Unfortunately, it only worked for two months at a time at best. Sometimes we were communicating through other people, and the messages became distorted, false, and hurtful. We were too stubborn to work out our differences, and therefore, the lines of communication were blocked. I regret that now. Different is not necessarily bad or wrong, but if one of you is unwilling to talk, then there will be no relationship left to communicate about. After two months of rooming together, we went separate ways, but we still had to face each other on the basketball team.

4. Don't hesitate to change a desperate situation. (It may be the only way out.)
If you've tried to accept your new roommate and it doesn't work out, speak to someone in charge of campus housing. When a situation makes you unhappy, drains all of your energy, and leaves you with no positive results, it's time to get help!

When the communication between Tosha and I was nonexistent, I knew I had to find a way to improve the situation. I also knew the only way to solve the problem was for the two of us to separate. That's why I met with our resident assistant to put a stop to things. Together, we spoke with the director of Student Life and housing to find a solution. I also spoke with my coach to let him know what was going on, because he had picked up on the tension and negativity between us on the court. He also agreed that the best solution was for us to separate.

5. No matter what happens, use the opportunity to learn about different cultures, new people, and different lifestyles.
It's a challenge to learn everything about the other person you'll share a small space with in college, but that's what college is all about. I roomed with farm girls, city girls, those from different countries, cultures, and people with different backgrounds than my own. It forces you to step outside your own comfort zone and experience a little taste of the real world, where everyone is different and not a carbon copy of yourself. You'll learn people come in various shapes and sizes, but they also come with an amazing abundance of perspectives, opinions, and lifestyles.

Once you step up to the challenge to get to know your roommate, don't expect to learn everything in a week. It takes time, but it's well worth the investment. You'll sharpen your communication skills, and walk away with some wise life lessons learned.

College is about learning and having fun, so don't let a bad roommate situation put a bad taste in your mouth. It's definitely not worth worrying over and feeling down about. If you feel comfortable moving out, knowing that you did everything possible to work things out with this new person, then move out and move on to bigger things and better roommates.

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