Mentors can be students who are older than you, a minister or Rabbi, or your boss in a part-time job. But often you can enlist a professor to become your mentor, and it’s one of the reasons why class size (for your major) is important.
One of the best opportunities to find a mentor is in a smaller class where the instructor can get to know you.
My professor and mentor, Conrad Fink, a former foreign correspondent and executive for The Associated Press, inspired three decades of journalism students at the University of Georgia. He sadly died this month after battling cancer, but he taught me a lot. Among his lessons, I learned some of the key things you can look for when choosing a mentor.
Professor Conrad Fink (seated, left) sitting next to me when I was a student at the University of Georgia.
1. Respect.
Some students were fearful of Fink at first because of his gruff nature and intimidated in a way by his long history in the industry, where he covered wars and other major news events. In the small classes, you couldn’t hide from Fink and what he had to say about your writing, or avoid being questioned during class discussions. But any intimidation soon turned to admiration and a desire to make him proud of my accomplishments as a student and journalist.
2. An open door.
College professors will let you know about their office hours, and you’ll want to take advantage of that. With Fink, we could stop by to soak up his “war stories” or to get his thoughts on where he saw us finding our place professionally. I also noticed that former students always visited to catch up with him – it showed the special relationship he had with his students. I often stopped in, even when I wasn’t taking his classes. As an adjunct professor now at UGA, I appreciated my chats with him and was always hoping he would be proud of where I had taken my career.
3. A challenge.
He always pushed me to work harder and do better as a student journalist and after I graduated. In the days after his death, many of his former students have referred to one of his quotes: “The door is always open, the traps always set.” The mementos that lined his office walls, from photos to excuses why students couldn’t make it to class, also showed us that we needed to keep entertaining him and hold his interest.
4. A generous spirit.
When Fink got annoyed at his students, he showed it by kicking our desks or narrowing his eyes and trademark bushy eyebrows at us in frustration. But those actions showed me he cared about more than giving me a grade. He wanted me to mature as a person and as a journalist. His generosity was evident in how he provided opportunities for us to network with other journalists, and made it possible for us to attend industry events across the country. When I expressed interest in a certain area of journalism, he connected me with his brother who could provide insight. At the same time, when I backed out of an internship he helped set up for me for an opportunity at a magazine, I had to mend the relationship by letting him know I appreciated his help, but believed this was the right choice for me. (He still thought I was wrong, though, but he respected my decision.)
5. Relationship beyond the semester.
It will be rare for you to find a professor that you will keep in contact with after the semester is over, or after you graduate. But if you can find one person who will be there for you, they can provide amazing counsel as you mull job offers or take steps in your profession.
College gives you access to the best minds, but it’s up to you to seek a relationship that goes beyond your grade. Carving out a mentor relationship can be well worth the time and effort it takes, so give it a shot.
As you are planning college visits, you might have discovered that your mom’s or dad’s alma mater may be on the list. Or maybe it’s your uncle, aunt, a grandparent, or another family member who can’t wait to show off their school. Take it from Haley’s experience on ABC’s “Modern Family” – this can be an embarrassing experience!
In a recent episode, Haley and her dad visited his alma mater, where he acted as the tour guide, taking her to the school library, student union, and dorms. And yes, they even sat in on a class. Awkward Phil – still trying to be a cool dad and wearing a college sweatshirt – relived some of his college days by eating his favorite chicken wings, hustling students in a dart competition, and joining in with cheerleaders on campus. Sure, Haley tried to be the good daughter and hang out with him, but she really wanted to go to a campus party instead. Of course, it gets even more awkward with Phil tracking her down and discovering it’s not the rowdy frat party he imagined.
Enjoy this clip if you missed it:
Here are three things that episode shows about surviving the alma mater trip with your family members:
1. Expect embarrassment. Don’t live in denial. If your parents loved their college experience, visiting their alma mater will allow them to relive their college days. So expect moments where they come dressed in full school spirit gear. Or try to talk to the other students. Or even (heaven forbid) dance.
2. Plan out what you want to see and do.
You may be yawning as they take you to the millionth spot on campus where something funny happened 20 years ago. Or when they want to see their old dorm room. Or when they want to visit with old professors. Let them do it – with or without you – but also make sure your parents know what YOU want to see on campus, such as new buildings, the dining hall, or where the fraternity and sorority houses are located. Work out a plan so that if you are invited to be with other students visiting campus, you can do that. Be aware, however, that they’re intimately aware of the campus hangouts–and it would be reallllly awkward to run into them there.
3. Go ahead and bond.
This trip to their alma mater is not just about them; it’s about you leaving home. They hope you love college as much as they did, all while knowing how much they’re going to miss you. So go ahead and enjoy a moment with Mom or Dad like Haley did (grabbing a plastic cafeteria tray and sliding down a hill with her dad, another tradition). It will help your parents create new, even more meaningful, memories on their old campus – you hanging out with them.
One of the most burning questions college-bound students have before the start of freshman year is: Who’s gonna bring the TV? Whichever roommate has the biggest screen usually wins, and that means a lot of prime real estate will be reserved for it in a tiny dorm room.
Although you may still be planning on bringing a TV to school with you this fall, chances are you’ll be catching the latest episodes of your favorite show on your laptop or iPad, too. Because young adults like you are watching shows and movies online, it’s one of the reasons why the number of U.S. households with TV sets has dropped for the first time in 20 years, according to data by TV ratings company Nielsen. It declined just 98.9 percent to 96.7 percent, but considering how much our society loves TV, it’s a pretty big drop.
A common sight on college campuses today is students sitting around on campus or in their dorms with a laptop. Sure, they might be checking their email, but chances are they’re catching up with the latest antics of the “Jersey Shore” cast or laughing at a scene from a recently released comedy.
Rebecca Morrow, interim director of residential life at Albright College in Reading, Penn., writes in an e-mail: “In some cases yes, students opt not to have a TV in the room. I would say that for the most part students are still bringing a television (usually a flat screen) to campus. Generally, females bring smaller televisions and guys bring larger TVs for video games.”
Chad Quinones, who is on the residence life staff at Roanoke College in Salem, Va., says that students arrange their rooms around their flat screen HD TVs, which are brought in mostly to play video games.
Are you planning on bringing a TV to college? If so, will you watch TV or movies on it, or is it mostly for playing video games with friends?
Want to get a sense of the highs and lows about being a college student? You’ll find realistic insight–in real time–on Twitter. Students’ comments capture the college experience – so here’s some of the honest truth about academics, relationships, money, and more.
Now’s the time to read all the comments – good and bad – because #incollege is trending on Twitter this week. Here’s a few of our favorites. If you’re on Twitter, go on and add some words of wisdom of your own.
Some colleges get the dubious distinction of being named a top party school by The Princeton Review or even Playboy magazine. These rankings just further show how much drinking is part of college life, which is often a temptation that causes some students to plummet academically during freshman year–usually as their perceived social status is rising.
It’s common for college students, underage or not, to say they must drink to handle the stress of school, or to spend weekends blowing off steam related to the flurry of exams, papers, and projects combined with work and financial pressures. But some colleges are paying attention to the tough topic of alcohol and drug use by offering programs and even on-campus housing where students can counter addiction.
Residence halls for students who have been treated for drug and alcohol abuse are offered by schools including Augsburg College in Minneapolis, the University of Vermont, and Rutgers University in New Jersey, USA Today recently reported. At Rutgers, the substance-free campus housing allows students to live in a place free of nicotine, alcohol, and drugs, and with access to support from counselors to handle the demands of college.
These and other efforts at schools across the country show that if you have had problems with drug and alcohol abuse in high school, you don’t have to face a losing battle in college. If you’re in this situation, consider searching for a school that is making a point not just to teach academics, but also to provide life lessons to students.
The more services and help that schools offer related to drug and alcohol abuse can put you on a better path once you graduate. Students will be better prepared to handle the stress of the real world – without using alcohol or drugs to help them through it.
It’s that time of year again: The applications are in and your parents have completed the FAFSA. Now the waiting begins—will you get into all the colleges you applied to, will you be wait-listed, or will you have to face some disappointment and rejection?
Believe it or not, your parents have stressed about this whole process almost as much as you have. They have spent countless hours worrying about the deadlines, the college visits, the applications, the financial aspect of it all, and the impending reality that you will eventually be leaving home. The anguish they feel over the next few months can only be compared to those months of excitement and fear they felt before you were born. They will be emotional, controlling, and yes, even a little distant at times. It’s all part of the process that we parents not so fondly call, “letting go.”
If you want to endure this waiting game without major family drama and minimal disagreements with the “’rents,” here are a few tips to help you survive the next few months:
Humor us
If we ask you 20 times if you have verified that your application and financial aid information were received by the colleges, just answer us with a smile. It’s not that we are trying to nag; it’s just that sometimes we forget (or better yet, can’t stop believing that you are actually becoming an independent adult). The same holds true for those questions regarding your grades and questions related to AP and CLEP tests. Just humor us and be patient and kind with your response.
Talk to us
Let us know how you are feeling during the wait. Are you stressed, anxious, worried, confident, ambivalent, or even completely at ease? If we know how you feel, we can help you. If we don’t know how you feel, we will be asking you that dreaded question: “What’s wrong?”
Give us some love
Parents can be especially mushy during this time. We may hug you for no apparent reason or call you just to tell you that we love you. It’s another part of that dreaded “letting go” process and most parents have their own way of grabbing hold of that last little bit of affection. Spend a little extra time with us in private and we promise to reserve those mushy moments to those times when we are alone.
Let us know we are still needed
You may think you don’t need us anymore, but you do. With our posturing of “letting go,” you are also attempting to exert your independence more often. Let us know that you still need us to be your parent. Ask us for help, ask our opinion, and – yes, once in a while, please – follow our advice.
Share your joy and your disappointment
When the letters arrive, share those moments with us. We are just as excited as you are to hear the results of your years of academic labor. If they aren’t what you expected, we can cry with you too. But just remember that if a college doesn’t offer you admission, there will be another college that values your contribution. That’s the college you want to attend. That’s the college we want you to attend.
Cut us some slack
We are just as excited as you are to have you head off to college and explore this brave new world. But we also want to be included. Plus, you might as well accept the fact that we will embarrass you on move-in day and we will embarrass you many more times before you walk across that stage in four years to receive your diploma. Because you see, we are proud parents. We’ve spent the last 18 years hoping for this day and also dreading it as well. So cut us some slack, give us a hug, and know that if you ever need us, we are just a phone call, text, Facebook post, or Tweet away.
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Parent college coach Suzanne Shaffer counsels parents in the college admissions process and the importance of early college preparation. As a parent herself, she knows the trials and tribulations – and is out to prove that with the proper preparations, any child can achieve his/her dream of a college education. Her Parents Countdown to College Coach blog offers timely college tips for parents.
Part of your college decision is based on emotion. Yes, you consider the cost and programs a school has to offer, but it’s often that feeling you have when you’re on campus that confirms it’s the right place for you.
The week of Valentine’s Day is all about celebrating love, so we asked students and graduates how they fell in love with their school.
“When my foot hit the ground at Young Harris College, I knew there was no need to look anywhere else. The beautiful mountains, small campus, great academics, and the wonderful Admissions Director, “Uncle Bud,” who showed me around, all combined to love at first sight for Young Harris and me!” –Anna Grant Jones
“I knew I wanted to come to Georgia since I visited the campus three years ago. I distinctly remember it was the weekend of Valentine’s Day, and I was walking around in capri pants and a light sweater. At home in Pennsylvania, it was still in the 30s. I was instantly dazzled by the sights and sounds of Athens, a picturesque college community. Everyone was so nice and helpful as my mother and I tried to find our way around—on bus and on foot—an intimidating large campus. I can honestly say it is true that Southerners are immensely nicer than Northerners. All of this combined, and I knew I would love going to school in Georgia.” –Katelyn Schiavone
“I came to the University of Kentucky in fall of 2007 and I’m now in my last semester. I immediately fell in love with the place. The dorms were so much fun. I never thought living in such close corridors with hundreds of other people could be considered fun! I became so close with the girls on my hall and the boys in my dorms. Most everyone got along really well, and so few of us had known each other before we got there. The campus is really pretty. Even though I rarely go to the library, it is truly a gorgeous building. I now feel like the campus is a home.” –Jenna Newsome
“When I first visited, it was in the heart of spring and everything looked lush and full of Iife. Everyone seemed happy, too.” –Sophie Cox
“Gosh, I fell in love with UGA after seeing a packed Sanford Stadium with my dad. He was so proud that I decided to become a ‘bulldawg’ that he couldn’t contain himself as we looked out on that sea of red and black.”–Tracie Powell
Have you already fallen in love with a school? Feel free to gush about it below.
Please join us for our Twitter chat today at 4PM ET to discuss this topic further:
We’re still so saddened by the tragic shootings in Arizona, and even though they didn’t happen on a college campus, their impact has had some people considering the role a college should take in assisting students who may be mentally ill.
The suspected shooter, Jared L. Loughner, was a student at Pima Community College in Tucson, Ariz., until last fall. Outbursts in class (one professor even called 911) and other incidents caused school officials to suspend him, and then he voluntary dropped out soon after.
While the college experience is great because people are coming from all different perspectives and walks of life, it can also be scary because some of your classmates might be struggling with mental problems–some of which can manifest themselves publicly. No one finds it amusing to be in a classroom and have a student ranting or getting upset to the point of scaring everyone.
So here’s where you need to know about FERPA, the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act, and how it applies to college students. FERPA, which protects the privacy of your education records, is something that covers you in elementary, middle, and high school. But when you’re in college, you are considered to be an adult, and so things are a little different.
There’s a lot of criticism about FERPA; in this case, it is related to when colleges should divulge students’ personal information to family members, and, if so, how much can be divulged. (FERPA is what also allows for colleges informing parents if you have gotten in trouble for alcohol or drug use at school, if you are under 21.) The government states, “FERPA clearly provides ways in which an institution can share education records on the student with his or her parents.”
News reports indicate that after five incidents with Loughner, the Arizona community college told his parents that he needed to undergo a mental exam before returning to campus. Government officials have said the college did what it could to handle Loughner’s disruptions, according to a report in the Chronicle of Higher Education.
Before you head off to school, read about how FERPA relates to you as a college student. But also try to have a discussion with your parents about a couple of things: If you have a history of psychological disorders, talk about how college could impact your state of mind and how you need to inform your parents when you need help. If you don’t have a history of mental illness, understand that other students may be dealing with mental health issues, and if you see any alarming outbursts, think about what role you may be taking in college to help schools cope with troubled students.
The holiday season is a time to reconnect with old high school friends who are returning home from college.
Be prepared in case your reunion is a little bit awkward because your friends have moved onto college life and all that implies, and it may feel like they’re leaving you behind. But don’t let that stop you from trying to hang out with them.
In fact, any real-life advice they can give you about college could help you out as you’re making your college choice, pursuing financing aid, and just planning in general for life on campus next fall. This is your chance to ask more detailed and personal questions than you could ask during your college visit or campus tour.
Even if you take just a few minutes to chat with your friends, here are some questions that can tap into their valuable experience:
1. How tough is it to stay on a budget, and what are they spending their money on?
You may find some friends have had to take part-time jobs, even if they weren’t planning on working, and others are constantly checking their bank account in hopes that they haven’t hit $0 yet. You’ll get a better idea of what type of money you need to have budgeted for college, whether you’re taking money out of savings or asking your parents for help.
2. What’s the biggest distractions they’ve faced when studying?
Knowing what’s kept them from focusing on finals and other tests could prepare you for what you’ll face when dealing with the pressure of exams.
3. Do they get homesick?
The independence that freshman love still can be accompanied by homesickness. So you’ll want to get prepared for times when you really want to be back home, which may only happen when you’re faced with a mound of laundry or are in need of a home-cooked meal. Or it may happen more often, depending on the relationship you have with your family.
4. What did they do to meet people?
You’ll want to find out what clubs, sororities or fraternities, or other social activities they attended to make new friends. Even if you’re attending a different college, it could point you to potential activities to consider.
5. Can I really wear my pajamas to class?
Well, maybe you won’t ask this particular question, but now’s your time to ask what is and is not acceptable on a college campus, particularly when it comes to classroom etiquette. While being yourself is always important, it’s also a good idea not to offend your professor or classmate on the first day of class with any misguided actions or words.
Have other questions? Come join us today at 4PM ET for our weekly #collegebound Twitter chat, where we’ll continue talking about those burning questions you have about college.
When you’re in college, Thanksgiving may be a time you look forward to: the chance to get a home-cooked meal and a break from college classes. You’ll also be back home, maybe away the freedom of staying out late and being independent, and you’ll have to deal with certain behaviors expected of you. (Um, dare we say curfew?)
But consider that some college students don’t get to go home for the holidays. Sometimes it’s because the students have work schedules that don’t allow them to leave town, if home is more than a day’s drive away.
University of Georgia student Ling Rao makes her first pumpkin pie with friend Mary Negley
Or the students are attending college too far away from home and it’s too costly of a trip. That’s often the case for international students, who not only may be new to the country but also unfamiliar with our American traditions. Some schools, like Smith College in Massachusetts, even try to match up international students with staff members who share their holidays with them.
You could add to the experience of an international student you meet on campus by letting them experience American culture – and all the turkey and trimmings on Thanksgiving Day, too. I know of a college student from China who had never had turkey, pumpkin pie, or other yummy holiday fare, though this is a common situation for international students. She learned to make a pumpkin pie at an American friends’ apartment, and the friend also invited her go home with her for Thanksgiving to be part of the holiday celebration. The pumpkin pie wasn’t as sugary sweet as she expected, which is just one of the surprising things she learned during the Thanksgiving holidays.
Maybe seeing some people experience the holiday for the first time will teach you something, too!
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