Are you attending or thinking or attending a “big” college? You’re definitely not alone Check out today’s post, in which Alivia Ashenfarb, now a Boston University sophomore, reflects on those first weeks at school.

When I first heard the phrase “Find the right school for you,” I was inundated with relief. Finding a college could be as easy as finding the right pair of jeans? The “right” school just needed to look and feel good? Finding a college sounded downright easy. As my college search wore on, however, I heard that phrase more and more, and it started to sound less and less like a piece of advice than an ultimatum. How can you find the right school when you don’t know the definition of “right” or even the definition of “you”?

I learned that guidance counselors, parents, friends, and books are essential resources in finding the answer to this question. After completing my college search and choosing to attend Boston University, I learned that some of these answers can’t come from the above sources. They come from time, experience, and a serious exploration of that ambiguous “you.” Having utilized these sources and learning firsthand what it is like to go to a big, urban school with students from around the world, I picked up a few tips that may give your search more clarity:

Size. “How big is too big?” “Can I handle a big school?” “Do I want the closeness of a small school?” These are questions I asked myself in high school. After attending a year at BU, which has about 20,000 undergrads and 14,000 grad students, I have learned that “big” is not necessarily bad. I had no problem finding closeness at BU. Roommates and floormates make meeting friends easy and instant. Classroom friends can be easy to find, too, since giant lectures are not the only classes offered. Schools also have smaller classes (mostly in language, writing, and math) that they require students to take, as well as small discussion classes to accompany giant lectures. For example, I took a political science class with over 100 students. My discussion section for this class, however, had 12 people. There, I got to meet my friends and study partners.

Location. BU is located in Boston, Massachusetts, a city of about 620,000 people. Venturing into the city was always an adventure my freshman year; it gave me a mesh of cultures and histories that I don’t think a small suburban campus could’ve offered. I never got lost in the city or on campus, and I don’t know of anyone who did. Giant maps are conveniently located all over campus with blue boxes, phones to use in case of emergency at every corner. Campus visits will tell you right away about your school’s setting and campus layout, and I recommend taking those trips in your search. As for suburban campuses looking nicer, that depends on your taste! Urban campuses like mine promote nature with trees, gardens, and grassy study spots that can make you forget you’re in a city– if that’s what you’re looking to do.

Campus life. Lucky for me, BU is located in one of the largest college metropolises in the world. Meeting students from other colleges is easy when you’re in a college town, never mind a major U.S. city. There are parties on and off campus that can be as wild as the ones in movies. At the same time, there are quiet campus events like talent expos and educational events featuring prominent professors and local leaders that many students attend. I got to hear from Elie Wiesel, Holocaust survivor and BU professor, in a lecture about forgiveness that I’ll never forget. Equally unforgettable are the Boston Marathon and other off-campus events that no college guide can tell you about.

Looking back on my college search, I realize that finding a college is lot like finding a pair of jeans. It shouldn’t be stressful, especially if you remember to take your time, start early with your search, reach out to students that go to your prospective schools, visit, decide how much you want to experiment in a new setting with new people, and know that there are things guidance counsellors and college guidebooks don’t know, things only you can find out by testing the waters.

Alivia Ashenfarb is a sophomore at Boston University.