Some people believe that if college were a movie, it would be High School: The Sequel. In the words of the immortal Elle Woods (Legally Blonde), “It’s gonna be just like senior year, except for funner!” So there’s no need to prepare for college, except to get your body ready for endless partying.

If you want to kill your chances of a successful high school-to-college transition, follow our expert advice:

1. Follow your friends to school.
By all means, base your college decision on what your friends are doing. It’s the perfect plan. And you’ll probably find a major you like, though that kind of thing is secondary, anyway.

2. Forget about summer reading.
You’ve got plenty of time to exercise your brain, so you should definitely take a few months off before you have profs breathing down your neck. Play all the Final Fantasy you want and you’ll be in the perfect frame of mind to start college.

3. Deplete your savings.
The summer after senior year is your last hurrah, so it’s important to spend all the money you’ve got while you can. Calling home and asking for money is a quintessential part of the college experience, and you don’t want to deny yourself (or your parents) that Hallmark Moment.

4. Don’t bother connecting with your new roommate.
There’s time enough to get to know your roommate once school starts, so it’s a waste of precious energy to get in touch over the summer. What does it matter if you don’t remember her name when you move in?

5. Pack the night before.
Colleges are like hotels: They provide bedding, towels, toiletries, hangers, free wakeup calls, and daily laundry service. And if you ever need anything, like a winter coat and boots, Mom can just overnight ‘em.

6. Go home every weekend.
Your high school friends are your best friends in the whole world, so it’s only logical to hang with them as much as possible. Bonus: Your mom will be there to cook you dinner and do your laundry. Personal responsibility is way overrated.

7. Call your BF/GF every night.
You already know you’re going to get married, and you have that Wal-Mart promise ring to prove it. Meeting new guys and girls at college is pointless since you’re totally positive you’ve already found The One.

8. Procrastinate as much as possible.
Writing papers the night before they were due served you well in high school; there’s no reason college should be any different. And if you’re not doing well, your prof will stay on top of you to let you know exactly what you have to do to pass the class. Just relax and let it come to you.

9. Party all the time.
Now that your parents aren’t around to get on your case about partying and cutting class, you can do whatever you want and let it all hang out. Sleep, exercise, healthy food, and showing up for class are for wimps.

Have fun (not) getting ready for college!

–Robyn Tellefsen